Artemisia de Vine’s Approach to Kink

Sydney-based, independent pro Domme with two decades of experience in mapping the erotic psyches of thousands of people.

“The erotic state – again, a mixture of concentration and spontaneity – is a hypnoidal state, probably the most powerful kind that we are capable of experiencing, and it is in this condition that unexpected regions of the self are revealed” 

Peter Redgrove

Why Oh why do I desire such perverted play?

When we grow up, we play the same games we did as children but in more sophisticated ways. Why do children play? Because they trust their instinctual, joyful desire to do so, and their trust leads to learning the skills needed to face the challenges and triumphs of life, to create connections with others and to explore themselves.

Playing cops and robbers and locking another in handcuffs to throw them in prison… or doctors and nurses with intimate curiosity about each others bodies… chasey (predator and prey)… or play wrestling are explorations of morals, physical prowess and relationships to power as well as connections with each other. 

I was the little girl who formed clubs and made others go through initiations to be allowed in… I made them suck my toes, be locked in the rabbit cage, poke their bottom through the fork in the “spanking tree” and dared them to jump up and down on the trampoline with no underwear on while I lay underneath to watch.  At that stage I did not experience myself, or others, in a sexual way. I was just playing and my play partners were willing victims. It was mostly just FUN! Although we did make mistakes as we learned healthy ways to negotiate power and boundaries.

We create games as a way of learning survival skills as well as how to interact with all the human challenges life will throw at us… feeling powerless, embarrassed, having power over another, desires for intimacy, unrequited love, grief, curiosity, shame, attraction, anger, pain, joy, worship and more… How do we get the things we want in life and deal with the obstacles or challenges along the way?

Sexual expression and BDSM are ways in which adults can continue this same learning process in a more mature way.  I encourage my submissives, slaves, pets and kinky explorers to trust their desires because, not only are they incredibly fun to play with, they are there for a reason. They are clues on a treasure map. One made by, and for, your own unique psyche. I’ve learned to trust it and teach my subs, play partners and coaching clients to trust theirs too. Your desires and fantasies are a gold mine, far wiser than people give credit for.

A decade of being a professional Dominatrix, and a decade of private play before that, has honed my art form.